Emily Hill was in the middle of her infusion treatment for breast cancer when she heard a young woman talking nearby. She unhooked her IV bag from the pole and walked down the hall of the Hoag Infusion Center in Newport Beach.
Peeking her head into the opened doorway of an infusion room, Emily saw Jessica Delgado talking with a friend while hooked up to an intravenous chemotherapy drip and freezing under a -32 degrees Fahrenheit “cold cap” that she had hoped would keep her hair from falling out.
“I saw a young woman like me,” Emily said. “I wanted to introduce myself.”
That was the moment, in December 2022, when Emily and Jessica began a beautiful friendship that would become a huge source of healing, laughter, strength and vulnerability. The single mothers share their fears about leaving their children behind. They speak about family, the future and spiritual beliefs. They share the same Hoag medical oncologist, Dr. Chaitali Nangia, Medical Director of Breast Cancer Clinical Research and Co-Director of Cellular Therapy at the Hoag Family Cancer Institute and compare notes about their treatments – chemotherapy, immunotherapy, surgery. And they remark about how grateful they feel to be cared for by an amazing team at Hoag – whether it be the infusion center nurses, radiologists, the nurse navigator, and of course, Dr. Nangia and her entire clinic team.
“I feel so blessed to be living near Hoag, knowing I’m getting the best medical care in the world from a team whose compassion and warmth are beyond measure. This journey has introduced me to a team of people who treat me as their friend, sister and neighbor. Across the board, they are kind and always find a way to make me laugh,” Emily said.
When they met, Jessica, then 33, was undergoing her second treatment in the I-SPY clinical research trial for women who are interested in not only treating their own breast cancer but in advancing the field of personalized cancer care. Emily, 40, was already a few rounds into her treatment for triple-positive invasive ductal carcinoma.
“Most of the patients here are considerably older. I will chat with anybody, but when I saw Jessica and her friend, they were young and stylish. I popped my head in,” Emily said. “She had a Peloton bag with her, and I love Peloton. I asked her who her favorite instructor is, we exchanged phone numbers and Instagrams. I think we’ve talked everyday since.”
And their conversations quickly moved beyond exercising and small talk. In the searing fire of their breast cancer battles, Emily and Jessica forged a friendship that both women say has helped sustain them.
“We’re both single mothers, we want to stay strong, so our children don’t feel the pain we’re going through,” Jessica said. “It is nice to connect with someone who is on the same journey and share your true feelings and fears.”
They discuss side effects, providing each other with warnings about mouth sores, night sweats, toenails and fingernails that fall out as the result of neuropathy. It’s the stuff that other friends can sympathize with, but never really understand.
“You don’t know heat until you’ve walked through the fire,” Emily said, starting to tear up. “It is nice to have someone to lament with on the hard days and cheer each other on.”
Earlier this year, Hoag completed a major renovation and expansion of the Patty & George Hoag Cancer Center in Newport Beach. The new center, supported by generous philanthropic funds was designed to enhance the patient experience and ensure optimal comfort during care. This included a new infusion center with both private and social treatment spaces – which was the perfect layout to advance Emily and Jessica’s budding friendship.
Almost immediately upon meeting each other, privacy and quiet went out the window. It is not unusual for one woman to roll her IV pole into the other woman’s room during treatment sessions.
“Dr. Nangia walked by once and did a double-take,” Emily laughed. “She said, ‘Wait. You’re both in there?’”
When Jessica’s friend who accompanied her to treatments got COVID-19, Emily came into the infusion center just to sit with her.
“It was the only time I stayed awake for my whole infusion session, I was just so excited to chat with her,” Jessica said. “She makes everything fun. Even chemo.”
“No one should go through infusion alone,” Emily said.
It wasn’t all laughter. During that chemo session, both women cried and shared their vulnerabilities. But they also spoke of their dreams, and their hopes – the things that keep them going. Especially their kids.
Jessica’s 15-year-old daughter and Emily’s 9- and 11-year-old sons have joined their moms on beach days. The friends have feasted at restaurants together and done a little window-shopping. They encourage each other, sending positive messages on treatment days.
Both women said the infusion center nurses, massage therapists and other caregivers have been incredible. They rave about Dr. Nangia and the care they’ve received at Hoag. But, understandably, both are looking forward to putting cancer behind them.
The one thing they know will remain, they said, is a friendship born in the most unlikely of places and in the darkest times of their lives.
“I think there is a different bond and a different friendship that comes out of trauma,” Jessica said. “I have gotten so much closer to Emily than to friends I have had for years because they’re not going through this life-altering experience. It’s been a beautiful experience of how I met her. I feel that she’s one of my best friends for life.”
